Jokes in English - 24

A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
Teacher:" Of course not."
Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

http://www.manythings.org/jokes/9985.html

A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.

http://www.manythings.org/jokes/9992.html

Patient: "This hospital is no good. They treat us like dogs."
Doctor: "You know that's not true. Now roll over."