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domingo, 18 de dezembro de 2011

Jokes - 18

TRAVELLER IN THE FAR EAST TRIES ORDERING BREAKFAST


Note: this story is about how two people using the English language build up a fine example of miscommunication. Read it aloud to yourself, pronounce it just the way this text is written.

Room Service: "Morny, ruin sorbees"

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room service."

RS: "Rye..ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?

G: "Uh..yes, i'd like some bacon and eggs"

RS: "Ow July den"

G: "What?"

RS: "Ow July den?..pry, boy, pooch?"

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please"

RS: "Ow July dee baychem...crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine"

RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"

G: "What?"

RS: "San tos. July san tos?"

G: "I don't think so"

RS: "No? Judo one toes?"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means"

RS: "Toes! Toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast'. Fine, yes, an English muffin will be fine"

RS: "We bother?"

G: "No, just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side"

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"

G: "Yes, coffee please, and thats's all."

RS: "One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy...rye?"

G: "Whatever you say"

RS: "Tendjewberrymud"

G: "You're welcome."



And now with subtitles, just to be sure...

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"

Room service Translation (RST): "Morning, room service"

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"

RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

RST: "Right! Room service! Do you wish to order something?"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"

RS: "Ow July den?"

RST: "How would you like them?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"

RST: "How would you like them? Fried? Boiled? Poached?"

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"

RST: "How would you like the bacon? Crisp?" [=kross]

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"

RST: "OK. And some toast?"

G: "What?"

RS:"San tos. July San tos?"

RST: "Some toast. Would you like some toast?"

G: "I don't think so"

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

RST: "No? You don't want toast?"

G:"I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

RS: "Toes! Toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow inglish mopping we bother?

RST: "Toast! Toast! Why do you don?t want toast [!!] ? How about an English Muffin with butter?"

G: "English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Okay, fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bother?"

RST: "With Butter?"

G: "No, just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

RST: "What?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

RST: "Coffee?"

G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"

RST: "Coffee? Tea? Milk?"

G: "Oh,yes.. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy ... rye?"

RST: "One minute. That's room twenty-three, scrambled eggs, crisp bacon, toast and english muffin with butter on the side, and coffee. Right?"

G: "Whatever you say"

RS: "Tendjewberrymud"

RST: "Thank you very much"

G : "You're welcome"

terça-feira, 13 de dezembro de 2011

Drunk Driving

Driving under the influence (DUI) (driving while intoxicated (DWI), drunken driving, drunk driving, operating under the influence, drinking and driving, impaired driving) is the act of driving a motor vehicle with blood levels of alcohol in excess of a legal limit. Similar regulations cover driving or operating certain types of machinery while affected by drinking alcohol or taking other drugs. This is a criminal offense in most countries. Details of the offense depend upon the jurisdiction, and may include merely being in physical control of a motor vehicle while being under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

 

sexta-feira, 2 de dezembro de 2011

Songs of the Week - Queen / Louis Armstrong

Love of My Life
by Queen






What a Wonderful World
by Louis Armstrong



Recipe of the Week - Mini Panettone

Mini Panettone



Moderately easy
Makes 10

Preparation and cooking times

Preparation time Prep 45 mins
Cook time Cook 25 - 30 mins
plus 1½-2hrs rising


Ingredients

  • 2 eggs plus 1 yolk
  • 1 tsp vanilla paste or extract
  • 500g plain flour
  • 2 x 7g sachets easy-bake dried yeast
  • 100g caster sugar
  • 200ml warm milk
  • 200g soft butter
  • 140g mixed dried fruits
  • 100g mixed candied peel
  • milk , for brushing
  • 1-2 tbsp flaked almonds 

Method

  1. Beat the eggs and yolk with the vanilla. In a large bowl, mix the flour, yeast, sugar and ½ tsp salt. Add the warm milk and egg mixture, then beat to a very soft, sticky dough with a wooden spoon. Cover with cling film and leave in a warm place until the dough has doubled in size.
  2. Drop large muffin wraps into 10 clean, 200g size cans (or use a muffin tray), or line them carefully with baking parchment so that the paper comes well above the cans to make a collar.
  3. Blend the butter, fruit and peel into the risen dough, preferably with your hands. Cut into 10 equal pieces and drop a piece into each prepared can. Cover again and leave until they are very well risen.
  4. Heat oven to 190C/170C fan/gas 5. Gently brush the panettone with milk, scatter over the almonds and bake for 25-30 mins until golden. Eat within 3 days, or freeze for up to 6 weeks.

PER SERVING

472 kcalories, protein 9g, carbohydrate 71g, fat 20 g, saturated fat 11g, fibre 2g, sugar 30g, salt 0,65 g